Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
