everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
