Tell her she can't have a vagina
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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