I'd wear matching sweaters with you
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
