omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
