What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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