we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
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if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
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I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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