Where is the hickey?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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