so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
