i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
