I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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