Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
