Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
