Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
