An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm both gender and math confused
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
