will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
