The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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