I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize