On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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