Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
why do cheetos always look like penises
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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