wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Randomize
