Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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