You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
