His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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