perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
