Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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