My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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