I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
