Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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