why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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