Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
