You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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