you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize