He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He passed out mid-signature
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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