I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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