Sponge bath it is.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
