Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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