Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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