Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
