I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
