I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
