But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
