but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
