can u get pink eye on your cock?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
His hands were made for my vagina.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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