I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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