he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
