I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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