He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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