why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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