if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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