Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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