he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
