I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I need a beard to bite.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize