tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
