I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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