EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
