theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
