i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
