He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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