so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My bed smells like the plague
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